Are you afraid of dying?
Then, to be blunt, that may just be the root cause of your problems in life. Fear, any fear breads irrationality. A fear of death is so basic that it underpins all of life and becomes a general lowering of rationality - to some degree. I find it underlying all other fears in my experience as a mental trainer and coach. Because what is the worst that can happen if you’re afraid of flying? “I can die!”, I hear you say. But if you weren’t afraid of dying, then that fear of flying would dissipate.
Dying is the ultimate loss - you lose your belongings, your house, your telescope and calculators, you friends and family, your body, name and identity. All in one fell swoop. A fear of dying is a fear of losing. So to resolve the fear of death, and thereby the range of other fears and much irrationality, you must practice losing. Until you can lose without any stress. When you become accustomed to losing without any emotional hiccup, then you will feel more relaxed about dying. And then you can live more fully. Because fear of death holds you back from fully experiencing life. Any stress or fear does.
To ease my own apprehensions, and especially my upset when losing in games, I started playing chess. A lot. Some 30000 games of bullet chess (one minute games) during the past 3-4 years was what it took for me to ease up. And with that went most of any fear of dying. I don’t know if that will work for you or anyone else, but it seems natural to me that picking an area you suck at losing in - and continuing losing plenty in that - would make losing easier. And hence prepare you somewhat for the ultimate loss.
When you’re not afraid of losing, you can focus on the task at hand. Attention goes from threats to opportunities. Then you increase your chance at Succeeding in Life™.
If you decide to try something like this, let me know. Would be interesting to chat with more people about this.
Link to this post: https://isene.org/2020/03/Fear.html